Seafood Unlimited!

 

There’s something fishy about this place…

Greetings Glutards!  Ever think to yourself, “where can I get gluten free seafood dishes in the heart of center city?”.  I’m sure it’s a very pressing matter that has crossed your mind at least once today.  Well folks, I am here to tell you about a great little place called Seafood Unlimited.

This tiny gem is located near Rittenhouse Square on 20th street.  A friend and I decided to try it one night, since it was a new restaurant to both of us.  I was met by the sign below, and honestly, I didn’t expect much…

Yikes… Thank God their choice of a chef was better than their choice of graphic designers.  That drunk mermaid looks like she’s asking for it…

Our server was fantastic.  She was extremely helpful when I asked about any gluten free options.  She told me basically just avoid anything fried and everything else could be modified to be gluten free, or already was gluten free.

I started with Manhattan clam chowder.  It was delicious and had a great spice to it.  Also, even though I didn’t specify I wanted “gluten free” chowder, the server kindly let the kitchen know and left off the oyster crackers from my soup.  Now that’s service!

For my entrée, I stuck with one of the simply prepared fishes.  You basically just select your fish, your preparation, and your sides.  There server told me to avoid anything fried due to breading or non-celiac safe frying oil involved in the dishes.  I chose Tilapia, prepared with tomatoes, olives, and capers, and served with rice and steamed veggies.  All of it was fantastic.  Everything was perfectly cooked and the flavors were great.

If you a looking for a new restaurant to try and like fresh, made to order seafood, this is a place for you.  Just don’t let the creepy mermaid sign turn you off when you walk up.

Glutardedly yours,

 

~Tim

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Thanksgiving Leftovers

There’s not enough Tupperware in the world…

 

Happy Monday, Glutards!  And it’s “Cyber Monday” at that.  So if you didn’t go out and get trampled at midnight on Thursday, today is your day to get stuck with endless check-out screens and scream obscenities at your computer.  Happy hunting!
 

So now that the in-laws have retreated to the 7th circle of Hell until Christmas, what are  you going to do with all of those leftovers?  Sure, you can just reheat plate after plate of the same old thing, but why not jazz it up a little?  Here are just a few fun things you can do with all of your holiday kitchen spoils.

 

1. The Classic Thanksgiving Sandwich – It’s so simple Helen Keller could do it.  Just pile stuffing (GF), turkey, cranberry sauce, and mayo on your favorite gluten free bread and presto!  You have a very carb heavy sandwich that puts the best of the holidays in your mouth at the same time.



2. Potato Pancakes -  Not sure what to do with that vat of mashed potatoes drunk Aunt Susan left behind?  Why not mix them with some egg, chopped onion, and any other flavors you may desire, and pan fry them into these crispy delights.  Serve them with breakfast just before you tell the cousins they have overstayed their welcome. *note: if you follow the recipe attached to this link, substitute panko with gf bread crumbs.*



3. Chopped Turkey Salad – Thanksgiving foods can be so heavy.  Why not take that turkey and add it as the protein to your favorite salad?  Quick. Easy. No cooking or grease fires involved.



4. Turkey Pot Pie – This is a great idea and so simple to make.  Dice up some leftover turkey and take your favorite veggies and mix them together.  Got gravy?  Throw that in too and pour the entire mixture into a baking dish.  If you have leftover gluten free dough from your pumpkin pies (which I did), thaw it out and use that for your flaky pot pie pastry.  Marie Callender’s doesn’t have anything on you, girl.

 

5. Finally, Fried Stuffing Balls – I thought about doing this while at home for the holidays.  Thank God Sunny Anderson thought of it too and shows us how.  Just make sure you are using gluten free flour when you bread your gluten free stuffing.

Cook. Experiment. Eat. Have Fun!


Glutardedly Yours,


~Tim

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Blackened Friday!

Get it, girl…

Happy Black Friday Everyone! I hope you all had a wonderful Thanksgiving and are currently safe out there in the world of competitive shopping.  I wanted to share a recipe with you all to make when you get home from raiding Target and kicking ass.  I decided to make something with a kick, a delicious Blackened Salmon!

I’ve never blackened anything before, so I looked up some how-to sites online and learned a few tips.  For this, you are going to need a heavy duty skillet.  Preferably a cast iron pan would work best.  If you don’t own a cast iron pan, just use the heaviest pan you have.

I found this recipe on allrecipes.com. For the blackening rub, you will need:

• 2 TBSP ground paprika
• 1 TBSP ground cayenne pepper
• 1 TBSP onion powder
• 2 TSP salt
• 1/2 TSP ground white pepper
• 1/2 TSP ground black pepper
• 1/4 TSP dried thyme
• 1/4 TSP dried basil
• 1/4 TSP dried oregano

*Spice alert! This rub may be a little spicy for some people.  For me, it was great.  If you don’t like it hot, you may need to kick down the cayenne a notch.*

This is enough rub for 4 Salmon filets.  You will also need 1/2 cup unsalted butter to brush your filets.  Here’s how ya do:

In a small bowl, mix paprika, cayenne pepper, onion powder, salt, white pepper, black pepper, thyme, basil and oregano. Make sure you spices are mixed well together

Brush salmon fillets on both sides with 1/4 cup butter, and sprinkle evenly with the cayenne pepper mixture. Drizzle one side of each fillet with 1/2 remaining butter.

In a large, heavy skillet over high heat, cook salmon, butter side down, until blackened, 2 to 5 minutes. This probably will smoke so be sure to open a window and/or rip the batteries out of your smoke detectors before cooking.


Turn fillets, drizzle with remaining butter, and continue cooking until blackened and fish is easily flaked with a fork.  I cooked mine about 3 minutes on each side, which produced a nice medium temp on my salmon.


 I also made some brown rice and oven roasted broccoli and cauliflower to go with my salmon.  The broccoli and cauliflower I tossed with vegetable oil, tamari, ginger, pepper, and cayenne, and then roasted for 15-20 minutes at 350 degrees.


Your finished product is a delicious meal chocked full of omega 3 and vitamins that will replenish you after a day of shopping till you drop.  It’s a pretty easy dish too.  Just be careful flipping your filets.  All of the hot butter tends to want to splatter…

Maybe I should wear sleeves while cooking…

Let me know what you think. Enjoy!


Glutardedly Yours,


~Tim

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Black Friday Shopping Guide - 10 Essential Tips

Hide your dignity and get ready to choke a bitch over a Sanyo TV…it’s time for Black Friday Shopping!

 

Hello Glutards!  It’s almost time for the official kick-off to holiday shopping, Black Friday.  Now if you live under a rock and are not familiar, Black Friday is a magical time where humans revert to primates and go “ape-shit” over important holiday goods such as dvd players, Tickle Me Elmo, and Estee Lauder tote bags.

 

How does one survive all of the madness?  Well I am going to give you a few easy tips to make sure you get out of Thunderdome…I mean, the mall…in one piece.

 

 

1.  Plan your journey- Make sure you know where you are going for all of the deals you’ve found online, on TV, and in those newspaper ads.  Plan a route to the stores, hitting the ones that open earliest first.  Why not use Google Maps on your smartphone or tablet to help?

2.  Scout the stores in advance - Get into espionage mode.  Go to the stores a day to two in advance to scope out the lay-out.  Make sure you take note of sale displays, exit routes, and elevated spaces that will give you the best vantage point of the carnage.

3.  Strength in numbers - NEVER shop alone! Especially on Black Friday.  Assemble your team with members who all have different strengths.  Choose wisely.  You'll need them to MacGyver your way out of tight situations, or to perform fun movie montages in the Old Navy dressing room...

 

 

4.  Set your alarms and start early – A lot of the stores have been opening at midnight on Thanksgiving night.  So what does this mean for you?  Enjoy your turkey early, have dessert around 5pm, play some Wii bowling with grandma, then GET YOUR ASS TO BED! You are going to need to sleep off that food coma and be ready to face the people of Walmart in the flesh!

 

 

5.  Two words: FANNY PACK – This little accessory is essential for Black Friday shopping.  It keeps all the things you will need (credit cards, keys, phone, pepper spray, rape whistle…) in a convenient, easy to reach spot.  Yes, it is totally still cool.  No, it will not make you look like a douchebag.  Celebrities totally wear them all the time.

 

See what I mean?  Fanny Pack = Bad ASS! Any questions?

 

 

7.  Create a survival kit -   Your kit should include such essentials as aspirin, coffee/energy drink, deodorant, bottled water, snacks (gluten free, of course), condoms (hey, it’s black Friday, anything can happen), BAND-AIDS, gum, and anything else you may need in the wild.

6. Dress in layers - Dressing in layers will help you when you are waiting outside of Game Stop for their doors to open. Also, all of that extra padding will defend against rogue elbows to the stomach.



8.  Wear steel toed boots -  Sh*t might get real.  There may be a stampede for the electronics section.  You might need to kick someone “gently” out of the way so you can reach that Rachel Ray cookware.  Why not be prepared?


9.  Be ready to FLIRT – Like Jennifer Garner on Alias, or Maggie Smith on Downton Abbey, don't be afraid to use your sexuality as a weapon. “Oh, that toaster is how much?  I thought it was on sale.  Maybe I was drunk again while reading the JCPenny catalogue...alone…”  If this doesn’t get you the best price, let a boob slip.  See, you may need those  condoms after all…


10.  Finally, have a designated driver – If all else fails, designate a driver and have a few gluten free drinks while shopping.  It will make the hectic experience much more enjoyable.  Also, drunk shopping has been clinically proven to reduce holiday stress and inspire better gift selections for your loved ones...



And that’s all I have for Black Friday shopping advice!  Just don’t kill anyone over a free gift with purchase, ok?

Glutardedly Yours,


~Tim

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The Truth about Asian Food and 90’s Comics

Someone’s got a case of the Mondays…

 

Happy Monday Everyone! I hope you all had a wonderful weekend and did not spend it working/inside with a cold like I did.  I’m sure you all went out and got wrecked like normal, functioning human beings…

 

This past Friday, Dane and I went to one of our favorite restaurants before going to the theater  The restaurant is Sampan, a fantastic foodery created by sexy chef, Michael Schulson.  I was a little apprehensive about going to Sampan since my switch to the glutarded lifestyle.  I figured their use of soy sauce would drastically limit my choices and hinder my experience.  I would rather remember it as it was. A glorious place full of savory delights and scallion pancakes as far as the eye can see.

 

Once we arrived, I could see that I was wrong.  The server was extremely pleasant and brought me their dedicated gluten-free menu, which had many of the same selections that I would have ordered from the regular menu.

 

When you go to Sampan, you will have the option of ordering ala carte, or from the $45 tasting menu.  The tasting menu is 7 selections from the regular menu (yes, ANY 7!), and soft serve ice cream for dessert.  It’s the only thing I ever order so I was so glad we could do it in glutarded style.



For the value, the tasting menu is really where it’s at.  Dane and I had so much food that we didn’t even know what to do with.  I highly recommend this for my fellow glutards.  I think they actually gave us larger potions this time.  Maybe they felt bad for the poor glutard and gave us more of everything else to make up for the loss of hoisin and bao buns…


After dinner, we finished out the evening by seeing the incredibly funny, Janeane Garofalo!  She was in town as part of the live show and podcast, Risk! The show features performers telling true stories that range from the light-hearted to the seriously dramatic.  Check out their website to learn more about the show and it’s performers.

How was your weekend?

Glutardedly Yours,


~Tim

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Glutarded Thanksgiving- Part 3: Pumpkin Pie

Well, technically it’s a fruit. But who’s going to argue with a talking pie?

Happy Friday!  We’ve finally come to the conclusion of our Thanksgiving special (thank God…).  Like any great meal, we are going to finish off with a Thanksgiving dessert favorite, Pumpkin Pie.  Fun fact: pumpkin pie was invented by the Indians to get back at the pilgrims.  The pilgrims gave them small pox, they gave us years of obesity and diabetes.  Well played, Indians…

Here’s a real fact: most pumpkin pie filling recipes are already gluten free.  Libby’s pumpkin proudly boasts their gluten free status right on the can.  The problem with pumpkin pie for us glutards would be the flaky, buttery crust.  Pre-made Celiac friendly pie crust was hard to find, so I decided to make one.

I chose to make my pie crust from the Gluten Free Pantry Perfect Pie Crust Mix. Let’s face it.  I am no baker, and I really didn’t want to f*ck up what could be a delicious dessert.  So for this recipe, start by buying this pie crust mix ( I found mine at Whole Foods), or a similar mix and follow the directions on the box.

For my filling, I took the easy way out again.  I bought a can of Libby’s 100% Pumpkin and followed the recipe on the label.  If you never tried the Libby’s recipe, it’s pretty damn good.  Why mess with something that's not broke?  For the Libby’s recipe, you will need:

• 1 1/2 cups sugar
• 1 TSP salt
• 2 TSP ground cinnamon
• 1 TSP ground ginger
• 1/2 TSP ground cloves
• 4 large eggs
• 1 - 29 oz. can of Libby’s Pumpkin
• 2 – 12 oz. cans of evaporated milk

*This recipe makes enough filling for two 9 inch pies*

Mix your sugar, salt, and spices together in a small bowl.  Beat your eggs in a large bowl, and then add your pumpkin.  Add your sugar & spice mixture and blend. Finally, slowly add your evaporated milk.

Pour your mixture evenly into your 2 beautiful, hand-made pie shells.  Drink a glass of your favorite wine and congratulate yourself.  You’re pies look fabulous!

Bake your pies in a preheated 425 degree oven for 15 minutes.  Reduce the heat to 350 degrees and bake for an additional 40-50 minutes or until the center is firm.

After about an hour of salivating by your stove, you’ll be blessed with pies that could win the blue ribbon at any fall harvest festival.  Great job, guys!

And so ends our Glutarded Thanksgiving Spectacular.  I hope you all enjoyed my little journey into holiday cooking.  Honestly, after spending 5 hours in a hot kitchen, I can see why some people would just go out on Thanksgiving.  This sh*t’s exhausting!

I hope you enjoy the recipes and I wish you all a wonderful Thanksgiving!

Glutardedly Yours,



~Tim
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Glutarded Thanksgiving–Part 2: Pineapple Bread

Keeping it classy at the holidays…

 

Welcome to part 2 of our hot mess Thanksgiving! Today I am making a gluten free version of my mom’s Pineapple Bread.  Now, pineapple bread is usually served in my family as a side to ham.  Maybe you have ham at your Thanksgiving.  Maybe you want a sweet stuffing to go along with the savory flavors on your plate.  Or maybe you just needed another recipe for your blog and this one was easy…

 

In any case, Pineapple bread is delicious and a quick crowd pleaser.  To make this, you will need:

• 4 eggs, beaten
• 1/2 cup sugar
• 1/2 cup melted butter
• 1 large can of crushed pineapple
• 5-6 large slices of gluten free bread, cut into cubes 

In a large bowl, mix together your eggs, sugar, and melted butter.  Make sure it is stirred well and all of your ingredients are mingling.  Then, add the cubed bread and the crushed pineapple.  Mix it up yet again until all of the bread is soaked in the mixture.

 

 

Place the mix into a casserole dish sprayed with your favorite non-stick spray.  Bake the dish in the oven for 45 minutes to an hour at 350 degrees until golden brown on top.  When it’s finished, you’ll have a delish dish that will take your Thanksgiving to the coasts of Maui. 

 

 

A fun additional fact:  I originally set out to make this week’s posts into videos showing you how to cook these different items.  Due to the lack of charged camera batteries, my poor editing skills and too much wine, this did not happen.  The video clip below is about as far as we got…
 

 

 

 

 

Glutardedly Yours,

 

 

~Tim

 

Glutarded Thanksgiving- Part 1: Stuffing

Get your Xanax ready, people.  Here come the in-laws…

Another Thanksgiving is just around the corner.  It’s a time for delicious food, corny parades, and breaking out your stretchy eatin’ pants.  I’ve been getting a lot of questions from family and friends about how to do Thanksgiving when there will be a glutard present at your table.  Well, my friends, all this week I am going to show you how to make some of my Thanksgiving favorites with glutarded style!

I started by making a gluten free stuffing.  Now, I’m a total whore when it comes to stuffing.  I mean, who isn’t?  I found a recipe on Whole Foods website for a gluten free stuffing that I modified slightly.  For my version, you will need:

• 6 cups gluten free bread cubes
• 2 shallots, diced
• 1 large onion, diced
• 2 celery ribs, diced
• 2 carrots, diced
• 6 tablespoons salted butter
• 2 teaspoons dried sage
• 2 teaspoons dried thyme
• 1 teaspoon dried rosemary
• 2 teaspoons sea salt, or to taste
• 1 teaspoon ground black pepper, or to taste
• 1/2 cup white wine (hell yeah!) *I used chardonnay
• 2 cup gluten free chicken stock

To start, if you bread cubes are not already toasted, toast them in the oven at 300 degrees for about 20-30 minutes.

Dice you shallots, onion, celery, and carrot and throw it in a large pot.  Add the butter and cook until the veggies soften and the onions caramelize.  Then, add your sage, thyme, rosemary, salt & pepper and cook for about 2 minutes.  Add your white wine and cook over medium heat till the liquid reduces by about half.

Place your toasted bread cubes in a large bowl.  Pour your sautéed veggie mix over the bread.  Add your chicken stock and mix all the ingredients together. *I added a little extra stock because I like a moister stuffing.  Keep in mind that some gluten free breads tend to be dense and semi-dry so extra liquid may be needed.

Place your mixed stuffing in a greased baking dish and place it in your oven for 20 minutes at 325 degrees.  When it’s finished, you will have a delicious stuffing that could possibly pass for real bread in some households.  It all depends on how many glasses of wine your guests have guzzled before dinner…

Check back here all this week for more Thanksgiving recipes!
Glutardedly Yours,

~Tim