Stuffed Mushrooms

Not of the “magic” variety…

Greeting Glutards!  Today I am going to start to show you how to make some of the hors d’oeuvres that I came up with for my Oscars party I had on Sunday.  I am going to start with the simplest one, Stuffed Mushrooms.  Who doesn’t love a good stuffed mushroom?  They are easy and sure to please at your next event.

Here’s what you’ll need:

• Whole mushrooms of choice, I used baby portobellos
• Gluten free bread crumbs/corn crumbs
• Garlic cloves, peeled
• Parmesan Cheese
• Asiago Cheese
• Olive Oil

Here’s how ya do:

Start by taking the stems out of your mushrooms.  DON’T THROW THEM AWAY!!!  Sorry…I didn’t mean to yell at you.  I get really worked up in the kitchen sometimes.  But you’re going to need those stems later.  Take the stems and put them into a food processor.  Place your mushrooms on a baking sheet.  You may want to put a piece of parchment paper on the tray first.  It will keep them from sticking, gurl.

Add your cheeses, bread crumbs, garlic and olive oil to your food processor with the mushroom stems.  How much you ask?  Well, I didn’t really measure.  Sorry, I was trying to rush things before my guests arrived.  For about 50 mushrooms, I used 4 cloves of garlic, 1/2 cup of bread crumbs, and about 2-3 TBSP of olive oil.  Add as much cheese as you’d like.  There’s no going wrong there.  Blend it all together until it is a thick, chunky mixture.

Spoon your freshly chopped filling into your empty mushrooms.  Don’t they look adorable?  Here’s a tip:  If you are running behind, put your guests who arrived early to work stuffing the mushrooms.  I did.  When they are fully stuffed, place them in a 350 degree oven for about 8-10 minutes, or until they are sizzling and browning on top.

And that’s it!  See how easy that was?  Place them on your favorite “fancy” dollar store place and your guests will be impressed.  Mine were.  50+ mushrooms were gone inside of an hour…

Glutardedly Yours,

 

~Tim

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Hollywood’s Biggest Night

 

Who are you wearing!?!?

Greetings Glutards!  So last night was the 85th Annual Academy Awards and we celebrated in glutarded style.  The party was a smashing good time.  There were fabulous outfits, witty red carpet commentary, and even some gluten free finger foods that didn’t suck.  I would call that a success!

For the tasty treats, I came up with:

Baby portobello mushrooms stuffed with parmesan, asiago, and gluten free bread crumbs

Curried sweet potato puree on gluten free goat cheese crostini

Jumbo lump crab salad on cheddar & Old Bay biscuits

The food got a great reception.  I was very pleased since some of these recipes I just made up and had no idea how they would turn out.  I was out of food at 8:45 so I would call that a win. 

As for the Oscars, I really enjoyed them this year.  It may have been all of the rum I was drinking, but I thought Seth MacFarlane did a great job.  He seemed a little nervous, but he was extremely funny and he knows how to entertain a crowd.  Maybe we will see him again next year?

While I was entertaining, my guests were busy buzzing about on twitter and Facebook with some witty comments about the red carpet show and the Oscars.  I sat down and read them all this morning over coffee.  So much better than a newspaper.  Here are some of my favorites:

Oh…Poor Renee…

Forget Joan Rivers.  My friends are the toughest bitches on the entertainment scene.

That’s all I have for ya today.  Rum-Olutions = one epic hangover.  I’ll be posting recipes for everything I made this week so ya’ll can use them for your next cocktail party.

Glutardedly Yours,

 

~Tim

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Yelp This…

Hi, my name is Tim.  I’ll be your glutard for the evening…

Greetings Glutards!  So last night I was invited by my friend Ben to a Yelp Elite party at a new restaurant and lounge called Fire & Ice.  Since I am still on the hunt for hors d’oeuvres ideas for my Oscars party on Sunday, I figured this would be a perfect place to get some inspiration.  And hey, who is going to say no to free food and booze?

So if you are not familiar with Yelp, it is a social site where users can write reviews of just about anything.  Restaurants definitely seem to be the crowd favorite.  Many people look to Yelp when they are trying to decide on new places to explore in their vicinity.  Basically, all you need these days to be Craig LaBan is internet access and a screen name…

The venue itself is huge and definitely suited for events such as this.  There was a pretty hefty spread of vegetables, salads and all of the healthy dips and spreads set up for the guests as they arrived.  Naturally I skipped right over those and went straight to the bar.  The drinks were plentiful and free.  My kind of party!  There were no gluten-free beers available, so I just kept it classy and guzzled wine all evening.

Ben got really excited to be one of the elite for an evening…

For the most part, a lot of the food was not glutard friendly.  I enjoyed the spicy seafood dip and spinach artichoke spread without any of the breads to go with them.  I am sure all of the Yelpers were wondering who the freak eating the dips with a fork was.

The dessert is what really got me.  They had a bananas foster station making this delicious confection to order.  Any dessert with alcohol added is a friend of mine!  Best of all, it was completely without gluten.  I should maybe attempt this for the Oscars party.  I wonder if my landlord has fire insurance…

Apparently the event was some sort of devils/angels themed. Ben and I didn’t get that memo, but we found this great halo in one of the lounges!  What do ya’ll think?

Glutardedly Yours,

 

~Tim

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Here Come the Oscars!

 

Yay! Brian Griffin is hosting the Oscars!

Greetings Glutards!  So unless you live under a pop culture blocking rock, you probably know that the Academy Awards are coming up this Sunday evening.  It's Hollywood's biggest night, and all of the A-listers will be out in force.  It's definitely a great occasion for a fabulous party.  Which is why I am having my first ever That's Glutarded Oscars Extravaganza!

Of course, every great party needs some delectable hors d'oeuvres to delight your guests.  Fun fact: hors d'oeurves is French foe tiny ass food.  Anyway, my goal is to come up with some gluten free creations that will dazzle my non-glutarded guests.  Let's face it, not all gluten free delicacies are delicious.  Words like dry, grainy, weird, stale, and sh*t-like have been used to describe some of the bad ones out there. 

So, I’m thinking some sort of stuffed mushroom, something with crab, and maybe a dip of some kind.  Any suggestions?  Maybe some of you out there are planning your own Oscars party and have some recipes you want to share. 

If all else fails, there will be plenty of booze to keep my guests happy.  I will definitely be serving the Les Miserables Rum-Olution as the signature cocktail for the evening.  No matter how drawn out these awards shows can get, alcohol always makes them move faster

I’ll be sure to post the recipes of whatever I figure out to make for you guys next week.  It’s going to be a hot kitchen mess…

Glutardedly Yours,

 

~Tim

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Korean Fried Chicken

 

It’s gonna get spicy up in hurrr…

Greetings Glutards!  Today we are making something fun and multicultural.  I wanted to make you all gluten free Korean fried chicken.  It’s a wonderful mix of Southern fried goodness and Asian spice.  For me, you could probably fry anything and I would be all about it…

Here’s what you’ll need:

• Canola oil, for frying
• 5 cloves of fresh garlic
• 1-1/2” piece of peeled ginger
• 3 TBSP Tamari (gluten free soy sauce)
• 3 TBSP Gojujang (what!?!?! Don’t worry, it’s just Korean chili paste)
• 1-1/2 TBSP rice vinegar
• 1 TBSP sesame oil
• 1 TBSP honey
• 1 Cup Pamela’s Baking & Pancake Mix
• 1 TBSP cornstarch
• Chicken parts of your choice ( I used legs and thighs cause that’s all I had in the freezer)

Here’s how ya do:

Pour oil into a 6-qt. pot.  You want it to be about 2 inches deep.  Heat over medium-high heat to 350˚.  I used a nifty little thermometer to keep an eye on the temp of the oil.

Chop garlic and ginger in a food processor. Add soy, gojujang, vinegar, sesame oil, and honey.  Puree it up until its smooth.  Set that aside for later.

Whisk Pamela’s, cornstarch, and about 2/3 cup water in a bowl.  Add the water a little at a time.  You want to make a moderately thick batter to coat your chicken.   

Coat each piece of chicken completely with your gluten free batter of goodness.

Add your chicken to your hot oil in small batches.  Fry each piece for about 6 minutes, flip, and fry for 6 minutes more. Drain on paper towels.

To finish off my little fried wonders, I placed them on a baking sheet and placed them in a 350 degree oven for about 10-15 minutes.

When you chicken is fully cooked, remove from the oven and place in a large bowl.  Pour your deliciously spicy sauce all over those crispy babies.  Toss them thoroughly in the sauce.

And that’s it!  Plate up your fried finished product and garnish with a little chopped scallion if you desire.  It’s finger licking good…

Yikes…

Blend.  Fry.  Enjoy.

Glutardedly Yours,

 

~Tim

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I Will Always Love You

 

DIVA!

Greetings Glutards!  One year ago today, the world lost the extremely talented Whitney Houston.  Yes, gurl made some bad decisions.  Yes, gurl got caught up with the wrong people.  But that doesn’t make her voice and her musical legacy any less amazing.

In honor of Whit, here’s some videos of her vocal amazingness…

Who could ever forget this?  It may not have been her song originally, but Whitney killed it.

If you can sing I Have Nothing, then you MUST be a diva.  Seriously, gurl got pipes!

That’s all I have today, Glutards.  Taking the day off to drink wine and watch The Bodyguard…

Glutardedly Yours,

 

~Tim

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A Night of Asian Delights

 

Greetings Glutards! So this past weekend I finally felt well enough to kick of my air cast, ditch the crutches, and go “down the shore” for a little adventure.  And by shore, I mean the Jersey Shore.  No, Snookie was nowhere to be found, but the Jersey ‘charm’ was all around.  My trip took us to the tackiest place on earth, the big sleazy, the famous Atlantic City.

And what brought me there besides the gambling and free drinks?  Well, my friend Dane got us tickets to see Margaret Cho at the Tropicana Casino.  As you may remember, Dane and I love 90’s female comics.  We went and saw Janeane Garofalo back in November.  How could I pass up front row tickets to the Cho show?  Unbelievable?  It was, fo’ sho!

So what type of preshow dinner goes best with Cho?  Pan Asian, of course!  Which brings us to Stephen Starr’s always extravagant, Buddakan.  No, Buddakan is not the name of a group sexual act.  Get your minds out of the gutter, guys…

Here’s how ya do Buddakan in glutarded style:

Enter the restaurant and marvel at the giant Buddha watching over the communal table and the trashy, barely dressed bachelorette parties dining there.  He’s so wise, isn’t he?  Unlike that girl in the tube dress and flashing penis necklace bling.  Oh gurl…

Start off with a delicious gluten free cocktail.  I went for a big boy toy and started with a gluten free extra dirty martini with olives.  Order it with Ciroc, which is made from grapes, and you’ll be free of gluten.

Make sure you inform your server of any dietary restrictions.  I know first hand that Starr servers are expertly trained and capable of guiding you through the maze of free flowing courses to choose a meal that will not send your stomach into a tizzy.  Our server was fantastic and made some excellent recommendations.  He was also quite cute, which didn’t hurt either .

Sweet & Crispy Shrimp

Chicken & Shrimp Pad Thai

Thai Chicken Salad

King Crab Tempura

Everything was FANTASTIC!  We also had the Crème Brulee Tasting for dessert.  We dived into that so fast that I was not able to get a picture of it for you guys.  It was just THAT GOOD!

After dinner, it was down to the Tropicana for more drinks and to listen to Margaret Cho talk about her vagina for an hour and a half.  Well, she did talk about other things.  Her new “Mother” tour featured her love of certain herbal drugs, sexuality issues, shocking celebrity hook ups, and of course, her mother.  If you are a fan, try to catch her tour if you can.  It’s definitely worth it.

All in all, a fabulous weekend.  Funny comics, delicious food, and drinks everywhere?  I think Atlantic City may be heaven in disguise.  Well, until you lose all of your money in the casinos…then it’s hell…

Glutardedly Yours,

 

~Tim

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SUPER BOWL!!!

Get it, Ravens!

Greetings Glutards!  Unless you were living under a rock this weekend, you probably watched the biggest event of the year yesterday.  No, I’m not talking about the extremely cute and utterly pointless Puppy Bowl.  I’m talking about the SUPER BOWL!

I know on the That’s Glutarded Facebook page on Friday I said I was going to talk about some fun Atlantic City escapades, but I could not miss commenting on the big game.  Now, if you’re like most red blooded Americans, you care about the Super bowl for 3 reasons: commercials, awesome party food, and the halftime show.  Ok ok, I guess SOME people actually care about the game, especially with this year’s brother vs. brother face-off.  For most of us however, the main reason for Super Bowl Sunday is just an excuse to eat, drink, and make complete fools of ourselves.  Let’s review some of last night’s highlights…

 

The Commercials:  I hate to say it, but they were kinda lack luster this year.  There was nothing that really stood out for me.  I guess no one was investing in advertising this year.  How about this strange VW commercial.  Thoughts?

The Halftime Show:  As stated in her press conference last week (yes, Beyonce had a press conference), our girl did sing live and killed it!  I feel like she did a fantastic job and really got the crowd energized.  You want better ratings?  Then put a pop diva in halftime and get all of the gay viewership.

 

Add in Destiny’s Child and make everyone lose it.  Well played, Pepsi…

The Blackout:  Well, I guess someone didn’t pay their “Bills, Bills, Bills”.  Beyonce stopped the show…literally.  Shortly into the second half, part of the stadium lost power.  The gay in me blamed it on B’s fierceness.  The dork in me actually got scared.  Anyone else get a little nervous and expect Bane to make an appearance? 

Pants = sh*tted…

All in all, It was a fun night of television.  Congrats to the Baltimore Ravens for winning the Super Bowl!  I didn’t really care about either team in the game, but at least the East Coast won.

At the end of the evening, this was MY idea of a “Super Bowl”:

Yep, Wegman’s gluten free penne with zucchini, squash, mushrooms, spicy marinara and pecorino cheese.  Where’s my trophy?

Tune in Wednesday to hear about my star studded Atlantic City getaway!

Glutardedly Yours,

 

~Tim

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