Parmesan & Herb "Breaded" Chicken

This ain't your Nonna's breaded chicken...

 

I've been craving some Italian (like ya do from time to time).  Instead of getting on Grindr (look it up, straight people...), I decided to get creative.  How do you make a breaded chicken dish with pasta when you have a gluten intolerance & limited pantry resources?  Here's how ya do...

For the faux breading, you will need:

 

2 Rice Cakes (plain ones, none of that apple-cinnamon bullsh*t)

1 TBSP Olive Oil

2 TBSP Parmesan Cheese

2 TBSP Butter (frozen works best)

1 TSP Basil

1 TSP Oregano

 

Dash of crushed red pepper

Salt & Pepper to taste

Combine all of the ingredients in a small food processor.  Chop the mixture until the rice cakes are crumbled and all of the ingredients are playing nice together.  *This made enough for about 2 cuts of chicken. You can always adjust the recipe for more*

 

Next, set up 3 bowls on your counter.  In the first bowl, place gluten free flour.  In the second bowl, 2 eggs.  Make sure you beat the eggs.  In the last bowl, place the bread crumb mixture that you just made.

 

Take your chicken (I used chicken thighs) and first coat it in the flour on both sides.  Move to the bowl with the egg and do the same thing.  Finally, coat both sides with your breading.   Then place your coated chicken in a greased baking dish.

 

I baked my chicken COVERED in the oven for 15 minutes at 350 degrees.  I chose to leave the cover on for the first part of the cooking process to help keep the chicken moist.  After 15 minutes, I turned the baking dish and took the cover off.  I left the chicken in the oven for another 15 minutes with the cover off to crisp the breading.

 

And that's it, my friends! I served my chicken with gluten free penne pasta that I found at Wegmans and some garlic sautéed veggies that I had in the fridge.  The chicken turned out very moist and delicious with a great crunchy coating.   I was proud! 

 

Make this. Get creative with it.  Jazz it up.  Have fun!  Let me know what you think.

 

Glutardedly Yours,

 

~Tim

Fogo de WHAAATTT???

"I'm gluten intolerant.  Where should I go out to eat?"

 

Normally I would roll my eyes at this type of request but since being diagnosed as a "Glutard",  I am now one of those people.  I actually have to put some thought into where to go out for a nice meal since I probably will have limited options once I am there.  It's probably the biggest headache I have encountered so far on my gluten free diet path.

Well Glutards, I am here to tell you there is hope.  There is a magical restaurant that holds numerous gluten free items for us to feast on.  It's the restaurant where the server's pants are baggy, the salad bar is massive, and the meat is all you can handle.  I'm talkin' about FOGO DE CHAO!

Fogo de Chao is a chain restaurant that specializes in Brazilian steakhouse fare.  The restaurant offers a prix fixed menu that includes their amazing salad bar and unlimited amounts of their 15 different cuts of meat.  It's like dining on a cruise ship, but without the funky decor and the bargain basement entertainment.  The meats are prepared by gaucho chefs and served to you directly at the table.  Now that's what I like to call service! Men bringing unlimited amounts of meat right to me?  Yes please!

 

This dinner was another part of my friend Josh's birthday that I wrote about last week.  I am so glad that this was the restaurant choice because I could eat just about anything!  In my research, I found that their meats are safe except for the chicken, which is marinated in beer.  I highly recommend the filet mignon and the house special cut, the Picanha.  The sides that are served for the table (plantains, polenta, and mashed potatoes) are all gluten free and delicious.  The desserts were kinda off limits. 

My recommendation:  HAVE A COCKTAIL ;-)

 

Overall, I give Fogo de Chao 5 stars for Glutards! It has plenty of gluten free options and a very knowledgeable and friendly staff.  I warn you, it is a lot of meat.  Do not eat for a day before visiting this restaurant!  You're going to need to save room for the 15 cuts of meat!

 

One restaurant down, hundreds more to explore...

 

 

Glutardedly Yours,

 

~Tim  

 To check out more about Fogo de Chao, click here!

 

Glutoberfest!

Who doesn't love a good beer?

Beer is like friendship and happiness all in one bottle.  It insights camaraderie.  It vastly improves your dance moves. It makes that girl across the bar slightly more attractive than she was an hour ago.  It makes you instantly recall every Dave Matthews Band show that you went to in the 90's (guilty).  And it turns 3am shitty diner food into the greatest thing you've ever had in your life.  I am very upset that due to my stupid stomach, I cannot enjoy my favorite brews and all of their benefits.  Especially since it's fall and beer tends to be the official sponsor of all things autumnal.  To remedy this, I have decided to create my own beer drinking festival that I am calling GLUTOBERFEST!  But first I needed to find out where to sample a gluten free beer in this fair city

Apparently, all you need to find gluten free beer in Philadelphia is have just one accessory: The Gays.

Tuesday night I went out for my friend Josh's birthday celebration.  It was a fabulous evening of witty remarks and slightly unseasonable shawl collar wool sweaters. The festivities brought us to The Westbury, a gay bar at 13th and Spruce.  The Westbury carried 2 gluten free beers which I had to sample.

The first was New Plant's 3R Raspberry beer.  It wasn't terrible.  Ya'll remember Arbor Mist?  Well this was the beer equivalent of that.  I don't even think it could count as a beer really.  If you like your beers light and fruity, then this will probably be your best friend.  If not, then lets move on...

 Next, drink this! The New Planet Off the Grid Pale Ale.  I tried this because I love a good IPA, and it was the only other gluten free beer they had. Woohoo! Well I will say that this was much more enjoyable.  It tasted like a real IPA!  It had a great floral nose with a crisp, hoppy taste.  This beer made me wanna grow a beer, wear terrible thrift store outfits, ride a vintage bike, and become part of the hipster elite.  But since I love Banana Republic and deodorant too much, I decided to just throw back a few more IPAs before we moved on the next bar.

I found Redbridge gluten free beer at The Venture Inn.  The bartender told me that they had ordered it just for one regular who is gluten intolerant, and now it actually sells to a much larger crowd.  When I saw it was produced by Anheuser-Busch, my soul gagged a little.  It turns out that this Busch creation isn't too bad.  Think something like a Yuengling crossed with a Miller Lite.    Huh, I like Busch...Who knew?  In the end it was more the birthday shots for Josh than the beer that did me in at the Venture.

So if you're gluten intolerant, or just beer-curious, you should celebrate your own Glutoberfest and check out the beers at these local watering holes (hehe...holes).  The beers may surprise you.  And if the beers are not your cup of tea, there's always shots and probably a Wicked sing-along for your enjoyment.

Happy Glutoberfest Everyone! What other beers should I try?

Glutardedly Yours,

~Tim

Stir it Up Stir-Fry

Since my post last week about Tamari as a replacement for soy sauce, I have been dying for Chinese that won't chain me to the bathroom floor.  I decided to whip out the wok (thank you Dane for leaving it in my apartment all this time) and get my stir-fry on!

*WARNING - This is a Tim/That's Glutarded original recipe for the stir-fry sauce.*

Feel free to adjust the ingredients or try your own.  The key is using tamari in place of soy sauce.  Other than that, the rest is up to you.  I used what I had around the kitchen that was gluten free.  This is what I did:

Spicy Peanut Sauce of Amazing-ness

2 heaping TBSP of Peanut Butter.  I only had crunchy, which was fine by me, but you may want to use creamy.

2 TBSP Tamari sauce

1 TBSP Sriracha or hot sauce of choice *

1 TBSP caramel sauce (seriously)

1 TBSP vegetable oil

1/4 Cup of chicken stock

3/4 TSP Ginger

1/4 TSP Garlic

Place all ingredients in a small food processor and blend them together, baby.  It's that simple.

This is how you stir it up:

(It always helps to have music while you are cooking...and a glass of wine doesn't hurt.)

In a $7.99 Ikea wok, place your veggies of choice and about 1/2 cup of water and a drizzle of vegetable oil.  I used:

Onion

Purple cabbage

Broccoli

Red bell peppers

Carrots

Snap peas

Sprouts

On a medium heat, stir all of your veggies around.  The water will "steam" your veggies while the oil keeps them from sticking to the pan.  Do not overcook your veggies! No one likes a limp carrot, honey.  You want to stir fry them to a point where they are tender and their colors are bright.  You may need to remove them from the heat while you wait for your meat of choice (if desired...and who doesn't like some good meat?) to cook.

If you add meat to your stir fry, cook your meat of choice in a separate pan to start.  I used chicken that I cut into strips, and cooked it in a small fry pan to get a nice sear on the outside.  Once your meat is cooked, add it to the wok.

 

Next, add about half of your stir fry sauce and go to town.  Stir the heck out of it to coat all of the components in the sauce.  Add a little more sauce if desired.  Continue working that wok until the meat is cooked through and the veggies have soaked up your delicious sauce.

And that is it! Serve your delicious stir fry over your favorite non-gluten side dish.  I chose brown rice since it was already in my pantry.

Eat. Love. Enjoy.  Let me know what you think!

Glutardedly Yours,

~Tim

*Note - apparently there is some controversy over whether or not Sriracha is gluten-free.  Now I found a post online saying it was from the Huy Fong food company, stating that Sriracha is gluten-free and we need not worry.  Personally, I have never had any reaction from eating this stuff, except for the occasional fiery poops from eating too much....(tmi)....

My Mom Reads My Blog! Do You?

Look at this wonderful email I got from my mom!  She reads my blog and supports her son's lifestyle as a Glutard.  Way to be progressive mom.  I know it's difficult, but I am sure in time you will see that this is not a choice and that Glutards are people too.  EQUALITY!  Oh, and I will help you with the holiday cookie issues cause you know you are gonna have to make some celiac safe treats for me.  :-)

Also, Dancing with the Stars?  I am honored that you fit me into such a thrilling prime time spot of television.  Especially during the All-Stars season.  Suck it Kirstie Alley!  ;-P

Glutardedly Yours,

~Tim


PS:  Mom, this is not gluten-free...

 

Glutarded Pumpkin Pizzelles

Good Morning Glutards and Friends!

Today I am going to share a recipe with all of you.  Since going gluten free, I have been craving some sort of sweet, baked confection. Most baked goods currently in my life have gluten, so I decided to make something myself. I started by researching some gluten free flours and found King Arthur brand multi-purpose flour at the local Whole Foods.  Then I had to decide what the f*ck to make...

I'm going to be honest, I cannot bake.  I think I am an OK cook , but baking is too much of an exact science for me.  I figured the easiest thinking would be something that I am familiar with, so I chose to make Pizzelles.  Since it's the season for all things pumpkin flavored, I set out to make pumpkin pizzelles.

If you don't know what a pizzelle is, they are a traditional Italian waffle cookie.  My Sicilian grandmother makes these every year for Christmas and they are one of my favorite things in the entire world.

Here is the recipe that I followed.  I found it on Tasty Kitchen and modified it to suite the glutarded lifestyle.

*WARNING: YOU WILL NEED A PIZZELLE IRON TO MAKE THESE COOKIES*

I got one from my Great Aunt Rose last May. 

Don't have a pizzelle iron?  Find one online here

Don't have a super awesome Sicilian Great Aunt?  Well, sucks to be you...

Here's how you do it:

Prep Time 10 Minutes Cook Time 3 Minutes

Ingredients:

1 cup Granulated Sugar

½ cups Butter, Softened

2 whole Eggs

1 cup Canned Pumpkin

1 teaspoon Vanilla Extract

2-½ cups multi-purpose gluten free flour,

or regular flour if you can have it (bastards)

2 teaspoons Baking Powder

1 teaspoon Ground Cinnamon

¾ teaspoons Ground Nutmeg

½ teaspoons Salt

¼ teaspoons Ground Ginger

*I also added a few shakes of McCormick pumpkin pie spice to make it a little more zesty

Preparation Instructions

1. Preheat the Pizzelle iron.

2. Beat (werq!) the sugar and butter until light and fluffy, then add the eggs, pumpkin, and vanilla.

3. Sift the dry ingredients together, then fold into the sugar mix.  It's gonna get thick so get your strong arm ready or use an electric mixer.  I don't own an electric mixer so I used a ghetto Proctor Silex hand-held blender than I use to make cocktails (don't judge).

4. Lightly brush the Pizzelle iron with butter or spray with Pam, then drop a teaspoon amount of dough onto the iron. Close the lid and bake for 60-90 seconds.

5. Remove. Before the cookies cool, you can shape them into cones or rolls or shallow bowls, if you want, or leave them flat. Tip: I use a butter knife to lift and slide the cookies off of the iron.

6. Repeat buttering the iron as needed and dropping on dough and baking it until all the dough is gone.

And it's that simple!  Your finished product is delicious, delicate cookies that everyone will enjoy.  This should yield about 3 dozen cookies.  Yield amount depends on the size of your iron, how many cookies you eat while baking, and how much of the dough you accidentally fling around your kitchen due to inadequate mixing devices (whoops).

Make these.  Eat them.  Let me know what you think.

Happy Gluten Free Eating!

Glutardedly Yours,

 ~Tim

*Photo credits go to Mr. Sean Thompson. He also filled my camera with pictures of my cat, blurry photos of the floor, and pleanty of "Sean Selfies"*

recipe credits:

Pumpkin Pizzelles on Tasty Kitchen

 Added by gneissgirl on July 27, 2009

Glutards + Facebook = Love

Greetings Glutards!

You can now become a fan of That's Glutarded on Facebook!  How exciting is that?  Now you won't have to leave Facebook (and I know some of you never do...you know who you are) to check out my latests blog posts, photos, recipes, cocktails, drunken 3am posts about nothing, and whatever else I feel like throwing out into the ether.

Just click here to find That's Glutarded on Facebook. Like me & Love me Glutards! :-)

Glutardedly Yours,

~Tim

Soy Sauce - The Silent Killer

Wait a second...Soy Sauce has gluten in it????

After learning of my new gluten deficiency I was troubled but I had hope.  Next to Italian, my favorite type of cuisine is Asian.  Since there is barely any wheat used in Asian cooking, I was overjoyed that I could still feast upon take-out from Golden Empress Garden.  Then I read how normal soy sauce is not made up entirely of soy.  It in fact is blended with wheat and there for, is not gluten free.  The average soy sauce can be up to 60% wheat!  Now that's just false advertising.

Is nothing sacred in this celiac world?  Just when I thought I had a victory, I find that Chinese/Japanese cuisine is chocked full of MSG:  MORE STUPID GLUTEN!

And then hope returned.  My dear friend Dane, who works at the popular Stephen Starr restaurant POD, told me that they use something called tamari in place of soy sauce for their gluten intolerant guests. After forgetting the name and mispronouncing it numerous times (Tamarine, Tamarind, Tamiri, Tamera, Tia...), I finally bookmarked a website about tamari on my phone and did some research.

Tamari is a gluten free soy sauce.  What makes it different than regular soy sauce?  Well tamari is actually made 100% from soy.  No wheat allowed!  Tamari offers the same savory, salty fix that soy sauce does, but will not cause any duress to the gluten sensitive stomach.  I was able to find the San-J brand of tamari at the local Super Fresh.  I was afraid it would be terribly expensive compared to regular soy, but I caught it on sale for $1.99.  Gluten free and a bargain! 

Thanks to Dane, I now know what to use at home for my stir-frys, and where to go if I want to dine out on some gluten safe sushi. 

If you've never been to POD, it’s an Asian fusion restaurant located in University City.  Dining at POD is kinda like dining in a space ship that crashed into a warehouse in the future.  But not the future like 2137, more like the future how we thought the year 2000 would look in 1985.  The floor is concrete, the chairs are plastic, and diners lucky enough to get a coveted pod have the freedom to change the color of the lighting in the space.  Just avoid the red lighting.  It makes you feel like you are in a tanning bed from hell. 

All joking aside, the food is delicious, the service is fantastic, and the cocktails are spot on.  I have never had a bad meal in this restaurant, and have celebrated many special occasions with them. They have many gluten-free options, including a sea bass that is out of this world. I highly recommend the Sake Mojito as well.  It's a great play on the classic Mojito cocktail and has been a favorite of mine for years.  And yay!  It's also gluten free!

Anyone have any recommendations for Celiac-safe Asian?

Glutardedly yours,

~Tim

Click here to learn more about San-J products!

Click here to check out POD!

 

I Wanna Put You in My Mouth!

But I won't...

 

This is what life was like before...

This is what life is like now. (*tears*)

I'm pretty sure there are 3 things that will survive the nuclear Holocaust:

1. Cockroaches
2. Cher (that bitch ain't goin' nowhere!)
3. Rice Cakes

Glutardedly Yours,

~Tim

Angel from Fishtown

Who says there are no nice glutards left in the world?

Today I had a very pleasant encounter with a guest at work and wanted to share. A lovely young gal was sitting at the bar having lunch when I entered the dining room. The bartender introduced me to her as "her manager with the glutard blog". She told me that her name was Siobhan and she was a fellow glutard. She has been living the life for 10 years now! Wow, I've only been doing it for a week and I'm already craving real baked goods.

We swapped a few stories and she gave me some great trips about gluten free products. She recommended Pamela's flour for all of my baking needs. Apparently it's fantastic. I wish I would have known this before today after spending 14 dollars on King Arthur flour at Whole Foods.

She also informed me of Udi's brand breads. Udi's makes a wide assortment of breads, dinner rolls, hamburger and hotdog buns, and other gluten free treats. This is great news cause I've been craving a sandwich like CRAZY! They even have French baguette under their product catalogue. I think that baguette and I are gonna have a date night with some brie and a bottle of Bordeaux...

Finally, I learned that it is Siobhan's birthday today! She was joining us for a birthday lunch because she had heard about the gluten free options at our restaurant.  Siobhan, if you are reading this, happy birthday and thanks for all of the advice!

Glutardedly Yours,

~Tim

For more info about the brands mentioned here, check out the links below:

Udi's Gluten Free

Pamela's Products

Attack of the Gluten!

"Ok, so...I have some dietary restrictions..."

 

This sentence is usually a server's worst nightmare.  With the numerous allergens, diseases, and TV "doctor" recommended diets, the number of guests I would hear this from has practically tripled over the past 5 years.  Especially the now common Gluten-Free request from our patrons.

Now, my fellow restaurant folk used to jokingly refer to anyone who asked about gluten-free options as Glutards.  What is a Glutard you may ask?  At first, we used to think that it was just someone on just another one of the many fad diets.  What I have learned over the years is that individuals who are truely gluten intolerant actually have a real life medical condition called Celiac Disease.  And a few days ago, I found out that I was one of them.  Glutard doesn't seem so funny now...

Celiac Disease is very simply an autoimmune reaction to gluten that damages the small intestine in a way that it cannot absorb basic nutrients like proteins, carbohydrates, fats, vitamins and minerals.  Gluten itself is found in grains such as wheat, barley, and rye.

Wait a second...so I can't have anything made from any of those things!?!?  Wow, I formally apologize to any Celiac sufferers that I may have called glutards in the past.  Culinary karma is a bitch!

 

So why am I writing this blog? 

 

Well first of all, It's a coping mechanism. I feel like a best friend has just died!  I love breads, pastas, pizzas, beer, breaded and fried anything, and all things that now I am told I cannot have.  It's probably my worst nightmare come true!  I even froze 2 delicious loaves of bread, keeping them in a cryogenic sleep so every time I open the freezer door I can gaze upon them and remember how they used to taste.

Second, I am hoping that my journey into this new dietary dilemma may help others going through the same thing.  Anything I learn about this new lifestyle (dietary guidelines, recipes, great restaurants, jokes, etc), I will post and share with all of you.  If I can help one person through my experience, great.  If I just make you chuckle, that's great too.

And finally, I am doing this to start a dialogue.  So many people do not even know what Celiac disease is.  I didn't.  So if you want to share your stories, experiences, and lifestyle, please feel free!  I feel it will help more people than you think.

Ok, I have rambled on long enough for a first post.  I am off to research gluten-free flour and pastas at Whole Foods and then enjoy my day off.  Thank God there's no gluten in wine ;-)

 

Glutardedly Yours,

 

~Tim

For more infromation about Celiac Disease, check out the Celiac Disease Foundation's Website