Greetings Glutards! We’ve finally come to the end of out Christmas cookie extravaganza! I decided to end with a holiday staple in my family, Rum Balls. Now, rum balls are a no bake cookie creation that contains alcohol. They are so incredibly simple to make. And since they are not baked, the rum stays in the cookie! These can definitely cause you to really feel the holiday cheer. I suggest keeping them away from the kids…
The following is my Great Aunt Edith Casella’s recipe that I modified to be gluten free. Normally, you would use crushed vanilla wafers instead of the gluten free cookies. Don’t tell my grandma I put this recipe on the internet, ok?
Here’s what you’ll need:
Here’s how ya do:
Chop the gluten free cookies and walnuts in a food processor. Dump them together into a mixing bowl. See, easy so far.
Add your corn syrup, cocoa powder, and rum into the bowl. Mix it all together until it forms a moist, chocolaty, alcoholic mixture.
If your mix seems too dry, add more corn syrup. Hell, add more rum!
Scoop out about a tablespoons worth of mix and roll it into a ball.
Roll your finished balls (hehe,..balls) in your powdered sugar. This prevents ball stickage and makes them incredibly cute. They’re like little snowballs of booze.
And that’s it! Serve these little puppies with a glass of coke for a chaser and you’re done. They’ll be the hit of your next function. As long as it’s not an AA meeting…
Make. Eat. Don’t drive. Let me know what you think! 
Glutardedly Yours,
~Tim
Greetings Glutards! Welcome to part two of the Christmas cookie extravaganza! Today I am making the holiday classic, chocolate chip cookies. These are everyone’s favorite and always something I look forward to straight out of the oven. Let’s see if I can f*ck them up!
Here’s what you’ll need:
Here’s how ya do:
Preheat your oven to 350 degrees. Sound familiar? Cream butter and both light brown and white sugars together in a large mixing bowl. It should be thick and creamy, baby.
Next, add your egg and vanilla extract. whip this together until the mixture thins and becomes super smooth.
Add the Pamela’s mix and beat that thoroughly into the butter mix. Once it’s all mingling nicely, add your semi-sweet chocolate chips. Sample a few chips for quality assurance. You know you want to…
Scoop out about a tablespoons worth of dough and roll it into a ball. Place it on your cookie sheet lined with parchment paper and repeat. Do this until you run out of dough.
Flatten your cookies with the bottom of a glass to make them round. I covered the bottom of my glass with parchment paper. This kept the balls of dough from sticking to the glass. Sticky balls can be such a handful…
Bake your cookies in a 350 degree oven for about 15 minutes. Again, look for the edges of the cookie to brown. This means they are ready. Remove from the oven and place on a cooling rack or paper towels to cool. Be sure to sample a few while warm. Just don’t burn yourself!
And that’s it! In no time you’ll have sinful chocolate chip cookies that will be sure to make Santa rush to your house first. Don’t forget the milk!
Make. Eat. Enjoy. Leave feedback. 
Glutardedly Yours,
~Tim
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*Recipe credits go to Pamela’s Products
Greetings Glutards! Welcome to a week long cookie extravaganza. We all know that no holiday party is complete without an array of delicious cookie creations. Sadly, almost every type of classic Christmas cookie is loaded with gluten. I figured it was time to grab our mixers and fight back. Our first assignment: Sugar Cookies.
Now for my sugar cookies, I actually just bought Pamela’s Sugar Cookie Mix. Did I totally phone this in? Of course not! I added some food coloring to give them that holiday cheer. Seriously, I’m no baker and I was under the weather. What do you people want from me?
Here’s what you’ll need:
Here’s how ya do:
Start off with preheating your oven to 350 degrees. You’ll need that later. Throw your stick of butter into the bowl of your stand mixer or just any old Ikea mixing bowl. Soften the butter with the mixer. This step actually broke my hand mixer. Oops… That’s why you don’t by the $6.99 Rival variety.
When the butter is softened, throw in your Pamela’s mix and the 1 lonely egg. Mix it all up until a soft dough comes together.
At this point, I separated the dough evenly into 2 bowls. I did this because I added 2 different food colorings into my dough. Fancy. If you’d like to do this, all it takes is about 3-5 drops of red and green food coloring to be added to the separate bowls. Mix the food coloring into the dough so it pigments the entire thing.
Scoop out about a tablespoons worth of dough and roll it into a ball. Place the dough balls on a cookie sheet lined with parchment paper. Trust me, the parchment makes your cookies so much easier to remove later. Thanks for the tip, Mom!
Dip the flat bottom of a glass in some water and then into your granulated sugar. Use the sugar coated glass to flatten your cookies. The sugar will stick to the cookie and give them an extra sweet sparkle when they bake.
Place the cookies into your 350 degree oven for about 8-12 minutes. You want to keep an eye on them and look for the edges to brown. That’s when you’ll know they are ready, baby.
Remove the cookies from the oven and place on a cooling rack or some Dollar Store paper towels. Always work with whatcha got! Allow the cookies to cool before storing.
And that’s it! So simple even I can do it. Thanks Pamela, you have really saved the day!
Make these. Go wild. Have fun! Let me know what you think. 
Glutardedly Yours,
~Tim
Greetings Glutards! Welcome to my cucina Italia. Today I am going to try to make my Sicilian grandmother proud and make Chicken Piccata. Now if you are not familiar with piccata, it’s a lemony preparation in which the chicken is sautéed in butter and olive oil, and then the juices from the pan are used to make the sauce for the dish. It’s super fun and a great way to impress your friends with your Italian cooking skills.
I adapted this recipe from Giada’s recipe on Food Networks website. One day, I’ll be like Giada. I’ll have a fabulous kitchen, a gay husband, and my head will be as big as a Macy’s parade balloon. Seriously though, nothin’ but love for ya, G!
Here’s what you’ll need:
Here’s how ya do:
Season your chicken with your salt and pepper. Make sure to get both sides. Then, dredge (dip) the chicken in the gluten free flour. Make sure it is completely covered & shake off the excess flour.
In a large skillet over medium high heat, melt 2 tablespoons of butter with 3 tablespoons of olive oil. When it’s ready, it will start to sizzle. When the oil is poppin’, add 2 pieces of the chicken and cook for 3 minutes until browned.
Once your chicken is “tanned” to your liking, flip it over and cook for another 3 minutes. Remove the chicken to a plate. Melt 2 more tablespoons of butter and 2 tablespoons of olive oil in the pan. When it’s melted and back up to temperature, add 2 more pieces of chicken and repeat the process. When all of your chicken is cooked, remove the pan from the burner.
Now, here’s where it gets fun! Into your pan, add your lemon juice, stock, white wine, capers, shallot, and tomatoes. Return the pan to the stove and get that mofo boiling. Be sure to scrape all of the brown bits that are stuck to your pan off and stir them into your sauce. It will give it extra flavor.
Add all of the chicken back into the pan. Simmer down now! Let it all simmer and the flavors infuse for about 5 minutes.
Remove the chicken from the pan and plate it up with your favorite side. I did mine with roasted asparagus. Once the chicken is out of the pan, add the remaining 2 tablespoons of butter and whisk away! When it’s fully incorporated, pour your delightful sauce over your chicken.
And there you have it! Giada herself would be so proud.
Try this. Let me know what you think. What should I make next? Arrivederci a tutti! That’s Italian for “See ya later, glutards”. 
Glutardedly Yours,
~Tim
Greetings Glutards! Today, I am going to try something a little ambitious for me. I’ve said in numerous posts before, I am no good at baking. Exact measurements and I just don’t get along. But this week I was craving something sweet and wanted to make a statement. Enter the Nutella Flourless Cake!
I found out about this recipe from my friend, Casey. It was created by Paula Jones and is posted on bell’alimento. Her recipe gives you the option to make the cake in several small ramekins or in a 9 inch spring form pan. Well, I stole a spring form pan from work, and chose to make mine into a 2 layered cake. So ambitious for someone so inept at baking…
Here’s what you’ll need:
Here’s how ya’ do:
Start by preheating your oven to 325 degrees. Spray your 9 inch spring form pan with your favorite cooking spray. I also lined the bottom of mine with parchment paper to make the cake easier to remove after baking. See, I’m learning…
In a large microwave safe mixing bowl add your butter, chocolate chips, and Nutella. CAREFULLY melt the ingredients together. Stir them about every 30 seconds. Be careful. Molten chocolate is delicious AND dangerous.
Let your chocolate cool slightly. Then, whisk in your egg yolks one at a time. Make sure they are playing together nicely with your confectionary comrades already in the bowl.
In a separate bowl, beat your egg whites until stiff peaks are formed. Add in your sugar and beat that mofo until it’s glossy and poppin’. Then add half of the egg white mixture to your chocolate mixture. Mix to combine. Carefully fold in the remaining egg whites.
Pour your chocolaty goodness into your greased spring form pan. Place it on a baking sheet and put the whole thing into the oven for 35-45 minutes. I left mine in for about 50 minutes. Just keep an eye on it and look for a firm top (who doesn’t love a firm top?) and for the cake to pull away from the sides.
If you wanna make a layer cake like me, just make 2 of these cakes. When they are finished cooling, you can trim the uneven tops of the cakes so they will stack nicely on top of each other. Think food Legos. Feel free to throw some frosting in-between the layers and all over the outside of the cake.
I made an espresso icing for the cake, which did not turn out the way I wanted. It looked like Marc Summers espresso slimed my cake on a special Double Dare episode of Unwrapped. This cake was my physical challenge. It looked a mess, but it tasted excellent. If any of you make your own frosting/icing for your baked goods, PLEASE send me some tips. Also, I probably shouldn’t have had a whole bottle of sake while baking this cake. whoops…
And there you have it. A delicious and decadent chocolate cake that will be the hit with all of your glutarded friends.
Make this. Let me know what you think. I <3 feedback. Enjoy! 
Glutardedly Yours,
~Tim
